Completely give themselves . . .

Bringing the good news of sobriety to each part

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program . . . usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.

There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. [58]

The Big Book is making some strong psychological and empirical claims here. Let’s bracket those questions of whether some people are “naturally incapable” of honesty and how empirically effective the twelve-step framework is for addiction recovery. Let’s focus instead on thoroughly followed our path and completely give themselves.

Christian practitioners of IFS sometimes speak of the goal of IFS as bringing Christ’s love to every last corner of your system. From their earliest scriptures, Christians thought of the person as a system in need of integration. The early Christian missionary Paul recognized a common dilemma of the alcoholic: “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7.15, English Standard Version).

To explain this vexing conundrum, instead of positing a ruptured unitary self, Paul assumed the interior psyche was like the external body, made up of multiple body parts: “I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members” (Rom. 7.22–23). In IFS we can understand Paul’s “inner being” as Richard Schwartz’s “Innermost Self,” his “members” as parts, and their captivity to sin as the condition of being burdened or exiled.

This model of part and whole helped Paul understand how he could already bear the image of God (the Self) and be saved by the power of Jesus Christ but not yet be perfectly transformed into Christ’s likeness. The Self had to bring the good news of Christ’s healing love to every part. In Christian terms, that is the path of sanctification. In AA terms, that is the path of recovery.

And one piece of the good news, according to IFS (and Christianity) is that every part can recover. Over the decades, IFS has empirically demonstrated what Richard Schwartz initially hypothesized: that when it comes to parts, “there are” no “such unfortunates.”

To give ourselves completely to this path means for our Innermost 🔵Self🌼 to bring the good news of this spiritual program of recovery to every burdened part and exile and to lead them into mature, integrated roles within our system. This path will extend well beyond the time it takes to kick the itch to drink. Even when exiles have been brought back into the system and parts have been unburdened, it will be a daily practice to continue in this manner of living with Self-leadership and serenity.

Prompts for reflection:

• How does each of your parts feel about the path of recovery?

• If you are working the 12 Steps, which of your parts is on which step?

• “Progress, not perfection,” is an AA proverb. This undergirds the practice of cycling through the 12 Steps repeatedly as the “manner of living.” The assumption is that you don’t do the 12 Steps perfectly the first time (and maybe you can never do them perfectly). If that’s the case, it stands to reason that you can “do” the 12 Steps without the complete participation of all your parts.

• A reluctant part or parts might hold back from a step while other parts continue on. If a part is so inclined, it’s worth exploring this option with Self and sponsor.

• Has this happened unintentionally? Have parts been left behind in your step work? Which parts would like to hear the good news of recovery addressed personally to them?

• IFS is a continual ministry of love from Self to parts, so it makes sense that the healing love of the spiritual path of the 12 Steps can be brought again and again to our parts—both those who have worked the steps before and those who are newly ready try the path.

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All quotations are from Alcoholics Anonymous (New York: Alcoholics Anonymous Publishing, 1955), second edition; https://aamo.info/gsowatch/1955/2ed/. Parenthetical page numbers refer to the corresponding text in the current, fourth edition.

Graphic courtesy Daniel Mitsui: https://www.danielmitsui.com/00_pages/no_ai.html.